An unflattering portrait of the prime minister emerges in Tim Montgomerie’s assessment of the dreaded “first 100 days”, published by the New Statesman. Montgomerie, who recently landed the coveted 90th spot in the Guardian’s celebrated annual list of the country’s 100 top media bores, argues that Dave lost the respect of the Tory right when he failed to win outright the General Election.  And if the eminence grise of Tory blogging has anything to do with it,  the PM won’t be getting it back. Plus says Tim, snotty Dave is haughty and self-consumed – no cute little handwritten billets coupables to all those Tory frontbenchers left beached when the Krishnas stole their ministerial berths for instance – and, worst of all, leaves the office at seven o’clock in the evening having only arrived at it at eight-thirty that morning.

This less than puritan work-ethic probably explains why, according to Montgomerie, the Government Cameron leads is variously incompetent (Gove, whose inability to write out a simple list of schools for the axe recalls Edmund Blackadder’s shambolic failure to organise the playlist as Lord High Executioner), “hyperactive” (Lansley: half-cock ideas for handing over the NHS to the tender mercies of your local GP that are disbelieved by almost everybody, including the Treasury), heading for a punch-up (IDS, Fox over their attachment to ridiculously-expensive welfare policies and nuclear missiles respectively) and totally bonkers (Ken Clarke, with his quaint ideas for letting people out of prison and/or allowing them to stage in-the-nick revivals of The Importance of Being Earnest).

It is curiously only the Tory bits of the Government that attract Montgomerie’s fire and ire, thus sparing among others Uncle Vince whose business department over the summer has been the fastest-shrinking entity on the planet after BP’s share-price. The old man is fighting back, however, coming up with some wheeze called  “one in, one out”, which means that for every piece of red-tape dreamt up by Whitehall (but not by Brussels which lies outwith this brain-child) some other equivalent regulation will be ditched.  It is all very reminisecent of the coalition’s staffing policy for Liberal Democrats, though that might more accurately be called one out one in.

Montgomerie thinks that the Laws episode is when the coalition “bonded”, bless them. Laws, he notes, got a “warm letter” from Cameron. More than all those discarded Tories did. Ouch.

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